Hello! My blog offers comments about life, women's issues, magazine and newspaper articles, current situations, as well as my own experiences and reflections.
I was on the stationary bike yesterday morning at the gym, when my neighbor-cycler and me engaged in conversation. This 32 yr old woman told me she felt depressed, anxious, aggressive and generally overwhelmed. Even though she has a healthy constitution and fairly good looks, she told me she feels fat and ugly most of the time. I was honest to her and said I didn't think she has weight issues. Her husband does. It's her husband who tells her she doesn't fulfill his expectations. It's her husband that's controlling her by using against her a weapon he knows will make her weak: her issues with her self image. It saddens me that our conversation was not long enough to get her to understand that no one has the right to destroy her self esteem to the degree of feeling depressed and suicidal.
Unfortunately, psychological abuse is common in couples. You'd be surprised to learn from the Psychological Maltreatment of Women Inventory that putting down a person's physical appearance is the number one question. Other ways of psychologically abusing someone includes:
calling names
yelling
swearing
withholding affection
not doing a fair share of household tasks
ordering around
monitoring your whereabouts, phone calls, etc.
not contributing financially to the household
not allowing you to get needed medical care
threatening to leave the relationship
blaming you for his or her violent behavior
blaming you for his or her problems
trying to convince you that there is something wrong with you or that you are crazy
being insensitive to your personal or sexual needs
If you are being abused in any way, please get help. Do Not Allow physical abuse and Do Not Let your partner control you or manipulate you in a negative way. And remember, you are valuable no matter what the perception of others is.
When Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on the George Lopez show to talk about her book, she mentioned that one of her favorite chapters is about Vajazzling. She had a friend do it on her after a bad breakup. Vajazzling seems to be a compound word, joining vagina and bedazzled. And, yes, it is all about decorating a "lady's parts." She proudly mentioned that, at the moment of the show, she was wearing a hot pink swarosky cristal embelishment down there.
After reading this vajazzling term for the first time, I started to wonder how in the world could swarosky cristal stickers could be applied to a woman's vagina and how is it visually appealing, taking in consideration that the vagina is located inside the body. By definition, the vagina is the muscular tube that connects the uterus to the outer part of a woman's genitalia, the vulva. So, again, how is it possible to apply anything decorative in there. Well, I thought, maybe it is like wearing a piercing in the tongue, most likely used to give pleasure during oral sex than to be seen. So... I investigated the topic by going to vajazzling.com and watching a video from "Completely Bare" a waxing salon in New York. This is what I learned: first, the vulva is completely waxed (a brazilian wax), then, the decorations are applied with glue. They are supposed to last five days or so.
I am a pretty modern woman and I would even vajazzle for a special occassion, such as an anniversary. Why not? But, the point here is that someone got the anatomy parts incorrect. Vajazzling is done on de vulva, on the outside, not on the vagina.
For decades (or centuries) people have used diminutives and cute names whenever the private parts are mentioned--"down there" is a common euphemism. This only leads to both, confusion and taboo. The parts of the reproductive system are often presented and talked about incorrectly. After reading the book The Portable Pediatrician for Parents, I learned how important it is to educate ourselves and our children when referring to our reproductive organs, both internal and external. Women have vulvas, vaginas, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and eggs. A man has a penis consisting of a glans, neck, shaft and root; plus scrotum and testicles. Internally, men have vas deferens and seminal vesicles and a prostate.
In conclusion, my only disagreement with vajazzling has to do with the ignorance it implies about the human body.
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